seasons change.

i feel as if i have become frequently acquainted with grief

it hits me every couple months like a harsh wave that i couldn’t quite prepare for

because that’s what happens…seasons change

leaves change color

summer turns to fall

to winter

to spring

the moon cycles through phases

from crescent

to full

to crescent again

friends move

siblings grow

things change

i feel the familiar dread at the end of a season, knowing nothing will ever be quite the same

and i find myself asking…where is God?

but the truth is, there is never a moment He wasn’t there

the truth is, the presence of grief doesn’t mean the absence of God, it means quite the opposite actually

it means He was faithful to provide something to deeply treasure and value

it means that from the ashes He makes beautiful things

that sometimes things have to die before they can grow, seasons have to end so He can usher forth new ones

it means there is still more

the tears shed over goodbyes also come with a small excitement for the souls i have yet to love and be loved by

the uncertainty in transition leaves space for hope to arise with certainty that God is not done with me

because surely if things keep changing, He is still moving

He still has purpose yet for me